Another April Fools
by Roga
Summary: James and Peter react to an announcement made by Remus and Sirius. Seventh year MWPP, slash, rated for language, RS.


"D'you know something?" Remus said, staring at the sky though a net of pink blossoms that decorated one of the more secluded trees on Hogwarts grounds. The earth beneath him was slightly moist, either from early morning dew or from the random showers that had hit the area in the past week, but he was hardly concerned about getting some dirt on his robes when the sun was shining, pink petals were lazily fluttering to the ground, and his headrest was composed of a very warm, nicely muscled, and momentarily peaceful Sirius Black, who was lying back himself against a large root, arms folded behind his head.

"Mmm?" He felt, rather than heard, the low, sleepy rumble in Sirius's chest.

"In second year, I thought about telling you-- and James, and Peter-- about me. On April Fools."

"The werewolf tosh? What for? We'd have thought you were trying to trick us," Sirius said drowsily, and then, after a moment, "oh." 

"Yes." Remus could vividly remember the terror that had engulfed him every time he'd considered it-- an icy ball of fear that settled in his gut and left him almost breathless at the prospect of telling his best friends about what Sirius now carelessly called 'the werewolf tosh'. If these days it was something he could afford to smile about, it was only because somehow, miraculously, the three boys he'd wound up friends with were… well, themselves. "I thought it would be a good way to test the waters. See how you'd react."

"And then chicken out and tell us it was a joke? What did you think we would do, drown you in the lake?"

"More or less," he admitted.

"Moony," Sirius's chest lifted as he sighed, and Remus could practically hear the air whooshing in; blowing out, "you really can be quite a dolt."

Remus snorted. "Yes, well, my legitimately paranoid doltishness aside, I've thought of something."

"Repeat of previously uttered 'hmm?'"

"I thought, maybe…" He hesitated for a fraction of a second, and then plunged in. "Maybe this April Fools we can test the waters. Together."

In a flash, Sirius sat up, and before Remus could mutter an 'ow!' at the knee which had bumped against his skull, an upside down face had blocked out the sun and he was staring into a pair of wide blue eyes.

"Really?" Sirius demanded excitedly. "You mean it?"

"_Only_ James and Peter. And we can decide what to do after we see how they take it."

"How they take it!" Sirius scoffed. "You know James won't give a shit, and if he does, I'll punch him into next year."

"No, don't," Remus said firmly, and grabbed Sirius's wrists, rather awkwardly since he was still lying down. "Promise me, Sirius, if they don't take it well, just let it go and say it was a joke. I don't want to lose them." It's not as if he had a backup network of friends who knew he was a werewolf, and he was a private enough person to be embarrassed talking about it as it was. But he knew it was killing Sirius to keep their relationship a secret-- he hated hiding things from James, and his complete certainty that James would treat the revelation with enlightened open-mindedness was, frankly, quite astounding, optimism that Remus couldn't let himself share.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Fine, I promise. Funniest prank of the year, ha ha." He leaned down and shifted so that _his_ hands were now the ones holding Remus, pinning him to the ground, just starting to smirk. "You truly--" he leaned closer, words becoming puffs of air that exploded when they hit Remus's nose-- "are a ridiculous--" hmm, new peppermint toothpaste, Remus noted with approval, itching to taste it--"dolt--" long black strands of hair tickled his throat, and Sirius's lips were just barely brushing his skin-- "who should learn to trust his friends." Sirius grinned, and in stood in one graceful movement. "Come on, we'll be late for class."

Remus cursed under his breath, still smelling peppermint and trying to decide whether he wanted to kiss Sirius or just knock him on the head for being a shameless tease. It was hardly possible to fall for any bigger a prat, he contemplated silently, noting with satisfaction that by his slightly hungry look, Sirius appeared not entirely unaffected by his little stunt. He let Sirius pull him up to his feet, and used the momentum to forcefully push the startled boy into the tree and kiss him, as the books said, senseless. One arm leaning on the tree, the other pressing against Sirius's chest, he finally let go, feeling Sirius's racing heartbeat through his fingertips.

"Come on, then," he turned around and started walking towards the school, smile playing on his lips. "We'll be late for class."

This year, April Fools was marked primarily by the resurgence of the "Shield and Duck" – a move reminiscent of a disco dance step gone awry, patented by Severus Snape against Potters and Blacks everywhere, and adopted by the rest of the student body (during the day prefects of the four Houses had been spotted patiently passing it along to awed first-years). "After seven years here…" James trailed off, his voice catching, and Sirius nodded with emotion at the group of students who, wands clutched tightly in their hands, hurriedly turned the other way when they noticed the Marauders approaching in the hall. Sirius dabbed at his eyes and sniffled. "They make me so proud."

"You're Head Boy, James," Remus pointed out. "Mischief-wise, you're harmless. Neutered. As good as impotent, if you will, practically a eun--"

"That'll be enough, Moons, thanks," James said irritably, as they passed through the portrait hole into the Common Room. "My reputation exceeds me. Just seeing all these terrified little souls is almost as fun as pulling an actual prank."

"This has been a rather half-hearted year, though, hasn't it?" mused Peter.

James appeared to think about this. "By Maraudian standards, I suppose it has." He looked a bit wistful. "Wish I could do something big this year, though. Ah, well. April Fools is less about pranks anyway. More about making people believe all sorts of bull."

They climbed the stairs to their dorm, Sirius turning his head to make a face at a second year behind them, who promptly ducked and cast a Shield charm. A weak year? Remus did a mental count - twenty notes were pinned to various classroom doors around the school, giving false notices that classes had been cancelled or moved to different rooms (whoever had Arithmancy next would be tossed around between six different classrooms before being directed to the Great Hall just in time for lunch). All the blackboards were brilliantly charmed to display the wrong number of reading chapters or inches to write for homework, and the House points counter in the Great Hall had been charmed to show all the points as going to Gryffindor, and none to the other Houses – a tricky illusion constructed by Peter, that none of the professors had yet managed to lift.

Indeed, he thought, compared to previous years, they weren't in top form.

Reaching their room, Sirius said, "Sod the pranks. We have more important things to discuss."

All of them, including Remus, turned to stare at him in amazement. "Has anyone brewed any Polyjuice lately?" James murmured.

Sirius scowled, and just as quickly broke into a wide grin, in the kind of schizophrenic mood shift that was typical only of him. "Remus and I have an announcement to make." As James and Peter sat down on their beds, Sirius grabbed Remus's hand, which was starting to sweat as he realized just what they were about to do. James and Peter were looking at each other oddly, and Sirius, almost bouncing with delight, seemed oblivious to Remus's growing panic. Maybe they shouldn't--

"We're together."

And just like that, with no warning, it was out there. Two short words, tossed into the room, floating around in search of receptive ears to absorb them, report to the brain, and have it decide how hard to punch. Remus was feeling faint.

James spoke first, a puzzled frown on his face. "What do you mean, together?"

"I mean together. _Together_ together. Boy-girl together, only without girls."

Peter was gaping. "You mean you're _queer_?"

"Yes, that's it! Wonderful, Wormtail, you've caught on!" Sirius looked at Remus, and then back at the other two, expectantly.

Suddenly something seemed to click in James's face, and he turned to Peter. "Don't be stupid," he said, with a knowing smile. "They're just messing with us. Good one, lads, almost had me."

Sirius slid one arm possessively behind Remus's waist, pulling him closer. "We're not joking," he said. "This is for real." Remus wanted to say something too, but his jaws weren't working.

"Of course it isn't," James scoffed. "Come off it, Pads, you're making Moony squirm."

"It _is_," Sirius insisted. _It is_, Remus wanted to echo. Or, maybe, _it isn't_. Since when had his brain ceased functioning in moments of great stress?

"I think they're telling the truth, James," Peter said softly. "Look at Remus's face."

Ah, it's frozen in terror? Remus guessed.

James's gaze bore into him like a thinly focused laser beam, then moved to Sirius, and back to him. And then, to Remus's horror, his lips curled with disgust. "You're _not_ kidding," he breathed.

Sirius's bright smile started to falter. "No, we're not, I told you. You're… you're okay with this, right?"

"Okay? _Okay_ with it?" James rose from his bed. "How in the _hell_ did you figure I was going to be _okay_ with this?"

"Oh, Merlin," Peter muttered, looking as if he were going to be sick, which was a feeling Remus could wholly identify with.

"But--James--" Sirius grip on Remus's hand tightened, and it was starting to hurt. "I didn't think you'd care--"

"_You didn't think I'd care_?" James spat. "Well clearly you weren't exactly _thinking_, were you!" Sirius took a hesitating step forward, and James shrank back. "_Don't touch me!_" he yelled.

Sirius stumbled back, stunned. Peter was looking at them both with disdain, muttering, "--bloody hell, I can't believe we've been sleeping in the same room together--you've shared our _showers_--unnatural freaks--"

Remus couldn't bear to look at them anymore, and turned to Sirius, who was sitting on his bed, eyes closed as if he couldn't believe this was happening. And god, Sirius, who was one of the most popular boys in school and could have a crowd surrounding him just by snapping his fingers-- he had even less of a safety net then Remus, with no family at all any more, and only two people in the world he'd actually let inside his heart. And so, when James choked out the words, "I thought I _knew_ you," with palpable revulsion, something in Remus snapped. He honed on James.

"You miserable, bigoted fuck." The words whipped out of his mouth with cold, precise pronunciation, in the deadly tone he never used because he knew it made people's blood freeze and when he let himself slip that far into the beast, he felt hungry for flesh. "You take the trust of the only person who has _always_ stood by you, who's tolerated your insufferable, blown out ego long past anybody else could bear, _tear it up_ into shreds, and then have the nerve to say you fucking don't know _him_? God, your mind is so pitifully narrow it could actually fit inside my arse, and while we're on the subject, Sirius at least has been _getting some_ for the past three months, something I know for a fact you haven't gotten yet at all, so don't think for a minute you're "more of a man" than he is." Remus narrowed his eyes at James with as much contempt as he could manage. "You know, I used to protect you when Lily'd call you an insensitive jerk, but if she were here now I'd help her saw your prick off with a butter knife and feed it to the Crups with you watching."

For a few moments the room was entirely silent except for the sound of Remus's angry, ragged breathing, and the four boys stared at each other, wide-eyed.

"I'm not a prefect," Peter said quietly, "but I would say… twenty points to Remus, for the best tearing in this school has seen since Padfoot tore into that rabbit in fourth year. And…" he turned to James thoughtfully. "Definitely fifty point to James." He waved his wand and suddenly his hand held a golden statue of a small man, which he handed to James with admiration. "This Muggle Oswald says it all, really."

Facing Remus and Sirius' uncomprehending stares, James stood up on his bed and brandished the statue. "Thank you, Wormtail," he said seriously. "I'm honored to accept this award, and would like to thank first and foremost the Academy—" he bowed deeply at Peter "—for recognizing my undisputable talent—some call it a gift— and for not being that bad themselves, really." He lifted his head and caught Remus's eyes. To his astonishment, they were sparkling with mirth. "My deepest gratitude also goes to Misters Moony and Padfoot, who were and remain my inspiration for pranks, with masterpieces such as that thoroughly rotten trick of telling me the fair Miss Evans acquiesced to my luncheon invitation and earning me a kick in the nadgers in the follow-up conversation, which they probably thought I'd forgotten, and finally," he took a deep breath, and broke into a wide grin, "for being a lovely pair of April Fools."

Peter started snickering. Never one able to resist contagious laughter, James lost control of his face and collapsed onto his bed howling, every once in a while looking at Remus and Sirius and doubling over again.

"James Potter," Remus said between clenched teeth, "prepare to be murdered in your sleep."

"I'm sorry," James gasped. "It was just such a--perfect--opportunity--"

Sirius was still sitting on his bed with a dazed expression, and Remus had to restrain himself from strangling James and Peter on the spot. "So you mean you're--" Sirius started weakly. "You're okay with--?"

And James, to Remus's great relief, pounced on Sirius and wrapped one arm around him in a big, brotherly hug, which reminded Remus why he ever loved James in the first place. "Of course we are, you ninny," James said affectionately. "It's not as if you've defected to the dark side, or given away Gryffindor Quidditch tactics, which is far worse. Besides, it wasn't entirely unpredictable, you know."

Peter, smirking, summoned a notebook from his trunk with a wave of his wand. "Three months, you said?" he asked Remus, flipping through the pages.

"Er, yes," Remus replied uncertainly, suddenly embarrassed at his earlier tirade at James, but as if he was reading his mind, James just winked at him.

"That would make it New Years?" Peter looked disappointed.

Sirius answered, shoulders still sagging in relief. "Day after, actually," He gave Remus a pointed look that made him blush.

"Rats, lost another one," James grumbled. "Er, no offence, Wormtail."

"None taken. Turns out--" Peter searched his book closely. "Hmm. Lily's won."

"Don't suppose you'd agree saying it was a week earlier, would you?" James asked Sirius hopefully. "I had Christmas down-- I'd hate to lose one to Evans."

Faintly trying to grasp how exactly the conversation had reached this place, Remus took in the room in general. "There was a bet," he said flatly, but couldn't seem to muster up any indignation. His eyes finally settled on Sirius, who was, bless him, sporting his old, familiar smile.

"See?" Sirius said, and when he shone like that, he could make Remus feel as if they were the only two people in the room. "I told you. All you needed to do was trust." To the incredible sound of James and Peter not groaning at all, Sirius took his hand. "You should know by now that I'm always right."

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A/N: So this was me, reposting some older stuff that I never posted here. Written for the wellymuck challenge, 2006.


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